January is Stalking Awareness Month
When It Doesn’t Feel Like a Coincidence: Understanding Stalking
Stalking is rarely dramatic at first, but it is always serious.
Stalking is often misunderstood. Many people imagine it as someone hiding in the bushes or following a person down a dark street. While that can happen, stalking is far more likely to look subtle, persistent, and confusing, especially at first. It can feel like coincidence.
“It’s probably nothing.”
“They’re just checking on me.”
“I don’t want to overreact.”
But when attention becomes unwanted, repeated, and makes you feel unsafe, it’s no longer harmless.
What Stalking Really Looks Like
Stalking is a pattern of behavior meant to gain power and control over another person. It can include repeated phone calls or texts, showing up uninvited, monitoring social media, sending unwanted gifts, tracking someone’s location, or contacting friends, family, or coworkers to gather information. Many survivors tell us the most exhausting part isn’t just the behavior, it’s the constant sense of being watched, of never being able to fully relax.
Why Trusting Your Instincts Matters
One of the most important things to understand about stalking is that your discomfort is valid. You do not need proof, permission, or a dramatic incident to take your concerns seriously. At CFVC, we see stalking most often connected to intimate partner violence, especially after a relationship ends. In other cases, stalking may come from someone the survivor barely knows. Regardless of who the person is, stalking is about control, and it can escalate quickly. Last year, CFVC supported 260 people through their stalking experiences.
The Isolation Survivors Experience
Stalking survivors can feel incredibly isolated. Survivors often worry they won’t be believed, especially when individual incidents seem “small.” Documentation is so important!
- If you feel like you are in immediate danger, call the police and let them know why the actions of your stalker are causing you fear.
- Log any unwanted contact. Keep a log of each contact from the stalker. You can use SPARC’s log as an example. Be sure to also document any police reports.
- Save evidence when you can. Stalkers often use technology to contact their victims. Save all emails, text messages, photos, and postings on social networking sites as evidence of the stalking behavior. You may also want to consider how to use your technology and your devices in a safer manner. For more information, please visit the National Network to End Domestic Violence Safety Net Project’s Tech Safety Site.
The Stalking Prevention and Resource Center offers free resources for stalking victims. Reaching out for support can also be an important step. CFVC legal advocates work with survivors to create personalized safety plans that reflect real life. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and no expectation that survivors navigate this alone.
Support Is Available
In Cherokee County, Georgia, CFVC’s legal advocates can help you obtain a Stalking Temporary Protective Order (TPO). There are some steps you need to be aware of when obtaining a Stalking TPO. First, the order must be filed in the county where the perpetrator lives. Then, it is imperative that you provide detailed documentation of the unwanted contact and/or contact that is escalating in nature. Lastly, we highly recommend contacting your local domestic violence agency to get assistance in filing your Stalking TPO.
If you have questions or need support, CFVC’s legal advocates are available at 770-479-1804, ext. 200.
CFVC also offers support groups for domestic violence. You can join the community by reaching out to [email protected].
If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, please call CFVC’s 24/7 crisis line at 770-479-1703. You are not alone. Help is here.