What comes to mind when you think of safety? For most of us, it’s wearing a seatbelt, making sure the batteries still work in the smoke detector, or teaching our kids not to run next to a pool. But safety goes far beyond just what’s physical. It extends to emotional, digital, and financial safety, among others. For National Safety Month, Cherokee Family Violence Center looks at different types of safety and how you can be mindful of them, especially in the midst of dangerous situations.  

Emotional Safety: Feeling Safe Matters Just as Much as Being Safe

We tend to think of safety as purely physical, but keeping ourselves safe emotionally is equally as important. Emotional safety is feeling safe to be yourself, make mistakes, and set boundaries without fear of repercussions. In unhealthy or abusive relationships, emotional safety may be impacted by fear, control, intimidation, or isolation. Safety planning can be an emotionally taxing experience, so it’s important to:  

• Find a way to be active and involved in the community. This can come from volunteering at the local humane society or food pantry, joining a book club or a recreational sport, or starting a part-time job to support your finances. By being active in the community, you can reduce feelings of isolation. Joining a support group with other people who are experiencing a similar situation can help you process difficult situations and emotions.  

• When possible, taking time for yourself each day is a great way to increase your emotional health and safety. Doing something you love consistently, whether that be daily, even just for 5 minutes, weekly, or bi-weekly, does wonders for your emotional health.  

• Process your emotions. Journaling can be a great way to express and think through emotions that you are experiencing. Make sure to keep it in a safe place where it will not be found.  

• Keep your physical health in mind. Starting a workout routine, such as running a certain amount a day or joining a gym is a great way to keep yourself emotionally healthy.  

Abusive partners tend to use isolation as a form of control over their partner. If you are feeling isolated in your relationship, this feeling is valid. Even if you feel like your family or friends will not be open to you if you reach out again, this is most likely not the case. Keeping a strong support system is vital to mental health and emotional safety, especially to those in an abusive relationship.

Financial Safety: Creating Security Through Financial Independence

Financial safety is an important part of personal independence, particularly for survivors of domestic violence. Access to your own money, financial records, and important documents can provide greater stability and flexibility during difficult situations. Here’s a few tips on financial safety:  

• If it is safe to do so, consider building access to money that is separate from your partner, such as a private account, emergency funds, or financial resources you can access independently. Additionally, consider ways to protect access to your finances and personal information, ideally with support from a trusted advocate. 

• If you live in or near Cherokee County, there are CFVC advocates who can help plan your financial safety. Do not hesitate to call our non-emergency line or visit our website for more information.  

Digital Safety: Reducing Risk and Protecting your Personal Information

Digital safety is increasingly important for survivors of domestic violence. Technology can be used to monitor location, access private information, or track online activity without consent. Apps can be sneaky with their privacy and location settings, and you may agree to location tracking services without evening realizing you’ve done so. One very important aspect of digital safety is making sure location sharing is turned off.

Spyware or tracking apps can be downloaded onto domestic violence victims’ phones, allowing them to be tracked without the victim’s knowledge. Because of this, it is important ensure that the only apps on your phone are ones that you installed, and that your location services are turned off. If you suspect that your device may be being monitored, consider reaching out to a CFVC advocate, as changing settings and deleting apps may alert an abusive partner. 

If you have shared passwords on accounts with someone that you no longer trust, it is a good idea to change them to make your accounts more secure.  

Passkeys, which are stronger than passwords, are becoming available for certain websites. According to LastPass, each site gets a unique credential when using a passkey, which means it cannot be stolen or reused. While this technology is not available for every website yet, it is becoming more popular; it is already available for sites like Google, Amazon, Uber, and other major sites. Switching to a passkey is a very good way to guard yourself against digital abuse.  

Safety Planning: Being Prepared Before Dangerous Situations Happen

Statistics indicate that the most dangerous time for a someone experiencing domestic violence is Domestic Violence Crisis Center defines a safety plan as “a personalized and practical plan that helps identify things a victim can do to better protect themselves and their children and to help reduce the risk of being hurt.” If you find yourself in a dangerous situation, or one that could become dangerous, it is important to create a safety plan so that you will be able to protect yourself should you have to. Some things you should consider when safety planning: 

• People you can call in a crisis — Are you comfortable with calling the police in a situation where they may be needed? If not, who are some friends or family that you can trust?  

• Escape routes – have a door or window in mind that will be easy to escape through in case of emergency. Find a friend you could stay with or the number of a local shelter that could help you, in case an abusive situation escalates and requires you to leave your home quickly.  

A packed bag – having a bag with essentials, like a change of clothes, extra food, and important documents such as copies of birth certificates, social security cards, and insurance information can be very helpful in a dangerous situation. Either store this bag in a secure location in your own home or find a friend or family member who is willing to keep it at their place.

Child Safety: Preparing Children for Emergencies without Causing Fear

When safety planning, make sure to include your child to the best of your ability. While they do not need to know all the information, it is helpful if they are aware of certain things. Choosing a code word with your child is a good strategy for a situation in which they would need to call the police. Teach your kids how to clearly communicate when on the phone with 911 as well (click here for more information). Go over planned escape routes and safe places to go with your children so that they are able to escape quickly in an emergency situation.  

 Remember, children are not responsible for stopping violence or protecting adults. Their role is to get to safety.  

You Don’t Have to Navigate Safety Alone

If you are in Cherokee County and in need of support, Cherokee Family Violence Center has staff to talk through your situation and assist in safety planning. If you are in a nonemergency situation, visit our website for more information. If you are in an emergency, call the 24/7 crisis hotline: 770-479-1703 or 770-720-7050 en Español. For more information about safety planning, click here.  

If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, please call CFVC’s 24/7 crisis line at 770-479-1703. You are not alone. Help is here.